and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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