She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
