now i know why i became what i already was.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
