There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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