dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
