i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize