I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Boobs speak an international language.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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