I only kidnapped one of them. chill
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
