I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
