I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
