at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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