I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
last night I used snow as a chaser
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
