Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Is Oprah even human
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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