some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
