At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
