3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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