Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
