i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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