end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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