i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
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It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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