dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
