What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She announced her abortion via fbk
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
