mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Randomize
