Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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