Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
