Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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