There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i love accidental penises.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
