Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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