I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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