that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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