I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
