I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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