You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
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He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
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There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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