i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
