you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
