First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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