If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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