he thought i was a dude.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
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and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
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I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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