just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
