Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You are a genius and a whore.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize