Dual....:-)
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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