remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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