once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
