My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Couch. On fire.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
