Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
