please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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