Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
