Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
