that's an acceptable place to lick
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
