If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
