Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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