Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
