I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
