my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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