Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You are the jesus of drinking
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
