You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
