I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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