That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
