oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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