Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
