so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
