Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
