my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Alive.
So much puke
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
