Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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