Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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